 | Phone Conversations are over in 30 seconds
flat. |
| You know stuff about tanks. |
| A five-day vacation requires only one
suitcase. |
| You can open all your own jars. |
| Dry cleaners and hair cutters don't rob you
blind. |
| You can go to the bathroom without a support
group. |
| You don't have to learn to spell a new last
name. |
| You can leave the motel bed unmade. |
| You can kill your own food. |
| You get extra credit for the slightest act of
thoughtfulness. |
| Wedding plans take care of themselves. |
| If someone forgets to invite you to something,
he or she can still be your friend. |
| Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack. |
| If you are 34 and single, nobody notices. |
| Everything on your face stays its original
color. |
| You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the
passenger's seat. |
| Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. |
| You don't have to clean your apartment if the
meter reader is coming. |
| Car mechanics tell you the truth. |
| You can quietly watch a game with your buddy
for hours without thinking: "He must be mad at me." |
| Same work...more pay. |
| Gray hair and wrinkles only add character. |
| Wedding dress -- $2,000. Tuxedo rental - 75
bucks. |
| You don't mooch off other's desserts |
| You can drop by to see a friend without having
to bring a little gift. |
| If another guy shows up at the party in the
same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends. |
| Your pals can be trusted never to trap you
with. "So, notice anything different?" |
| You are not expected to know the names of more
than five colors. |
| You don't have to stop and think of which way
to turn a nut on a bolt. |
| You almost never have strap problems in
public. |
| You are unable to see wrinkles in your
clothes. |
| The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe
decades. |
| You don't have to shave below your neck. |
| At least a few belches are expected and
tolerated. |
| Your belly usually hides your big hips. |
| One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color,
all seasons. |
| You can "do" your nails with a
pocketknife. |
| You have freedom of choice concerning growing
a mustache. |
| Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25
relatives, on December
24th, in 45 minutes. |
